Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The End of (Mathematical) Days

As a mathevangelist, I am often asked, "Will I be among the Chosen when The End of Mathematical Days is upon us? Will I be carried into Pythagoras' Inner Circle for the rest of Eternity, or at least a Sufficiently Large Finite Approximation Thereof, and experience Pure Platonic Love?"

I reply, "It is true that not everyone can experience Pure Platonic Love. At the End of Mathematical Days, when the Reign of Mathematical Terror is lifted from Highland Park, Saint Paul, the Die will be checked, and to the Chosen Twenty will be revealed a mathematical truth beyond their wildest imaginings -- a sixth Platonic solid unlocking the mysteries of the universe."

Are you among the Chosen Twenty? Listen to the words of the recently admitted (thanks to incrediblemagpie):

Plato's Five Gems: Icosahedron

Verily as I enter the Valley Mathematical Terror,
I shall fear no equations:
For I have been endowed with the magical numbers.
Thy additions and subtractions, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a cache for me in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou annointest my head with clarity; my caches runneth over.

Surley keen vision and stamina shall lead me to all the caches of my life,
and I will dwell in the parks and fields forever.


The park is 1B's and all that cache in it,
the world, and those that hide in it;
for he has hidden it among the slabs,
and established it on slopes.

Who shall descend the slopes of 1B?
and who shall stand in his hiding place?
Those who have dirty hands and soiled knees,
who do not lift up their eyes to which is false, (decoys)
and do not swear deceitfully. (well at least not very loudly.)


To you, Oh 1B, I lift my pen.
Oh my 1B, in mathematics I trust:
do not let me be put to shame;
do not let caluclations exult over me;
Do not let those who wait be put to shame;
let them be ashamed those who are wantonly treacherous.(hehe)


Make me to know your ways, Oh 1B;
teach me your tracings,
lead me on your paths, and teach me,
for you are the 1B;
for you I cache all day.


Judge me, Oh 1B; for I have walked in the Valley of Mathematics;
I have trusted the numbers; therefore I did not slide.

Sometimes, I must remind the most eager seekers: "The park and the slopes and all that cache on them belong not to me but to mathematics. Lift your pen not to me but to mathematics. Endeavor to know not my ways but the ways of mathematics. It is for the tracings and paths of mathematics, and not I, that you cache all day. It is the austere logic of mathematics, and not mine, that judges."

Will you join the Chosen Twenty? Look within yourself, but also look here and here, for the signposts along your Platonic path.

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