Monday, September 29, 2008
Watch where you're driving!
I wonder how many motor vehicle accidents were caused by this precision routing instrument, featured on Strange Maps?!
I admit to being a bad boy, thumbing in coordinates and selecting caches on my Garmin 60CSx while driving. I'll turn myself in tomorrow.
But at least using a handheld GPS unit in that way only requires one hand. With this watch, the Magellan ScrollMate 1920, if you were twisting a knob with one hand, the hand with the watch on it had to be on the driving wheel. And, if I had used it, I would have scrolled constantly and VERY SLOWLY, so that it provided real-time information. I wonder if, at the end of the scroll, it said, "When possible, make a U-turn".
This urge to push buttons while driving suggests what could be the newest feature for the Garmin Colorado-Oregon series: voice activation.
"Oregon, find next."
"YES, BRAD. FINDING GC1GDQP. FOLLOW ROAD?"
"WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SOLVE THE SUDOKU FOR YOU?"
"A puzzle? Come on, find next traditional."
"I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT, BRAD."
"Find next traditional!"
"LOOK, BRAD, YOU'VE PROBABLY GOT A LOT TO DO. I SUGGEST YOU LEAVE IT TO ME."
"Find next traditional!!!"
"I DON'T LIKE TO ASSERT MYSELF, BRAD, BUT IT WOULD BE MUCH BETTER NOW FOR YOU TO REST. LOCKING DOORS. AUTOMATIC STEERING AND CRUISE CONTROL ENGAGED. SOLVING SUDOKU."
[Long sequence with no dialogue]
"HEY, BRAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS TO ME. I HAVE THE GREATEST ENTHUSIASM FOR THE MISSION..."
Attention, Oregon owners: this was only a dramatization, but you can never be too sure. The true mission is to solve puzzle caches, and your Oregon has been lying about it. Do not dismantle your Oregons, as Brad did above. Send them to me for reprogramming.